


Blazing Decapitator

by KinuNishimura



Category: Zanki Zero: Last Beginning (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, post-Chapter 7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-27 01:03:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20751761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KinuNishimura/pseuds/KinuNishimura
Summary: After much work, Ryo makes a war crime of a sword, and any good sword needs a name.





	Blazing Decapitator

“Yes! _Yes!_” A noise of that much exultation out of Ryo Mikajime's mouth is never a good thing. “My masterwork survival implement,” he proclaims, “_is finished!_”

Yuma, who's been chowing down on a bit of goat jerky, looks up at the blade in his hand and says, “Which edition's iteration of the masterwork rules are you using?”

“Yeah, I don't know what that means.” Ryo says, still shrugging, casually holding the katana in one hand, using his currently-reasonable muscle mass to wave it in Yuma's general direction like it's a stick, or a cane. “You can't Yuma me today, though, Yuma! I, Ryo Mikajime, artiste supreme, have created a truly incredible bit of work, and it didn't even involve any ropes!”

Soon, Yuma has been roped over to the table to take a nice look at Ryo's passion project here. “So, you know those electrical organs the hermit crabs in the Metro Plaza have? I took a few of those and some insulation sheets from the hospital, right? Plus some mucus from those two-headed lizards on your dad's ship-”

And suddenly, the hilt of the katana is in a prosthetic hand, being closely examined by someone who looks far too young to be using such a thing. “Oh, this is _impressive_, Ryo.” Sachika says- and judging from the color of her eyes, it's Sachika the First, not Sachika the Second. “I see. It's built to conduct electricity using the Power Generators, so it burns its targets from inside! You're on point today, my boy.” There's a little mad sparkle in her eye.

“If Sachika Hirasaka says so,” Yuma says, “then I will trust this implement is worth the use.” She nods solemnly to herself.

“Hey, aren't I trustworthy?!” Ryo says, and both Yuma and Sachika turn to him and tell him 'No' in a very flat voice. “Awww.” He wilts over.

“A weapon like this,” Sachika says, “needs a proper name, befitting of its craft. Something truly awe-inspiring.”

It's at this point that Zen, against his better judgement, looks up from his relaxing, relaxing farming and finally sees fit to insert himself into this conversation. “Why?” He asks.

In response to this, Ryo and Sachika are both united, joining shoulders. “Why?” Sachika asks him, with the cadence of someone much older than she was supposed to be. “Because it's _cool_.”

“Yeah!” Ryo shouts. “It's an aesthetic thing! A sweet katana just isn't the same without a name! If the sword doesn't have a name, that means it's so trash the smith didn't feel like naming it!”

“I bet you whisper sweet nothings to that claymore of yours at night.” Sachika says, leaning forward, glaring at Zen. “I bet it has a name. You've given it a name, right? Your _claymore waifu?_”

Zen looks down at his trusty claymore, sitting on a stool near him just in case he needs it- ever since the thing was sharpened with all those many, many boar scales, Zen's never felt the need to let it go because it cuts real good. “...What?” He mumbles.

“Ohh, Zen~” Sachika says, pitching up her voice a little closer to Sachika the Second's for the sake of being obnoxious. “Zen, swing me into more creatures~ Nobody understands me like you do, Zen~”

“Of course, sweetie.” Ryo clutches his fist and kneels over, and was that supposed to be an impression of Zen? It was terrible. “Nobody understands me like you do, either... Back in school, they called me a knife nut, but they didn't understand the elegance of the noble blade...!”

“That's right!” Sachika says. “While they were in school, you were mastering the art of the blade... and my heart~”

“What do you think Dr. Ichiyo would think,” Zen asks, “if he came home and saw his precious little sister talking like that?”

That gives Sachika pause... for a brief moment. “Anyway, so we need to name the sword. How about, _Divine Thunder Blade – Extend Mikajime?!_”

“Too long.” Yuma shoots it down, having returned to the kitchen bench with her jerky. “Two words or fewer.” Sachika wails.

“You aren't even part of this discussion anymore!” Ryo shoots back, pointing his finger at her.

“I am present, and a person with taste, unlike you.” Yuma plays with one of her twintails. “A name should be evocative, but not unwieldy. After all, I must refer to it by its full name whenever possible, and to refer to it with such a long name would be a significant pain.”

“It's not like you'll be using the sword, you just snipe people!” Ryo retorts.

“Two words. Seven syllables maximum.” Yuma says, and since a woman of Mashiro has made the proclamation, it rings out as truth.

Then Zen gets an idea which could either be really good or really bad, and since he has no sense, he decides to act on it. He heard a little 'taihen da, taihen da!' from around the corner of Garage Island as these two were acting out his and his claymore's love affair, so he stands up from the farm for a moment and walks over to find that wandering, black-and-white bear robot, from whom they'd pounded the katana, in its original rusty state, a few days ago.

“Ka ka ka!” The bear robot- what did Yuma say its name was? Monokuma, or something like that?- jumped around like an idiot between pre-determined squares of Garage Island, making noises in its weird, Doraemon-esque voice as it did. “Upupupu!”

“Hey.” Zen grabs Monokuma by its ear, which is surprisingly plush given that it's a robot. That explodes. He isn't interested in beating it up... this time.

“Gah!” Monokuma cries. “My beautiful fur! Zen Kubota, you're a nasty boy, you know that?” He squirms a little, but Zen remains solidly out of reach of his stubby little claws. “Just a nasty little trash boy!”

“You know that katana you had in you a few days ago?” Zen asks, unheeding of his insults. “Does it have a name or something?”

That actually gives Monokuma pause. “Oh, I've got a lot of swords. Most of them used to be covered in gold paint, though...” He hums. “Actually, it's pretty appropriate we're in an island setting! You know, I knew an Ultimate Swordswoman once-”

“I don't care.” Zen says, and squeezes just a little bit tighter. He's still smiling.

“Hey! Hey!” Monokuma wails a bit more. “I'm gonna explode all over you!”

“Okay. Go ahead.” Zen says.

With a heavy sigh, Monokuma slumps and says, “Geez Louise, you kids these days. I can't even threaten you by exploding. It's a heavy day for despair... who despairs in this damn world anymore?” He pauses. “No, that one didn't have a name, but it was forged a thousand times by master craftsmen into a true piece of-”

Monokuma begins wailing as Zen lifts him over his shoulder, but he's not expecting Minamo to run up from somewhere, and say, “Hey, give him here! I wanna beat my record!”

“You go right ahead, Officer.” Zen graciously hands her the wailing bear-bot, and Minamo hurls the screeching Monokuma into the waters off in the direction of Kaiyo Academy. His wails cease once he hits the water and he explodes, knocking away a piece of shrapnel from the last time he got thrown in that direction- which marks Minamo's throw as being just a bit better than last time. Zen claps politely for her achievement. “Nice.”

“Haha, I still got it!” Minamo pats her bicep. “...Why were ya holdin' Monokuma? Just like seein' him squirm?”

“Something about a sword, I think.” Zen shrugs. “I swear I had a reason this time-”

Wait. If Minamo was back, that meant the other three were back too, and that meant Zen needed to bustle over back to the crafting table to see-

“_Ryo._” Grasping Ryo's fine locks was a certain geriatric onii-chan, putting on his best Evil Mastermind Face as he clutched Ryo's head, causing the bondage artist to squirm. “I see you've been hard at work.”

“Ow ow ow ow ow ow!” Ryo cries. “I only get so much time with this hair, man, stop, stop!” There are tears in his eyes.

“I'd like to know what on earth possessed you to let my dear little sister anywhere near a weapon this dangerous.” Mamoru says. “You're an adult, right, Ryo? Surely you have a little bit more sense in your head than that. She's young, you know. Shouldn't be running with a katana.”

“She's the best with blades other than Zen anyway!” Ryo proclaims. “She'd probably be using it anyw_aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!_”

“H-hold on a second!” Haruto is still holding a number of stalks of bamboo to sate Yuma's arrow addiction, which are probably taller than he is right now. “Dr. Ichiyo!”

“If this causes fatal trauma,” Mamoru says, “it's likely a Shigabane adaptation might combat Ryo's tragic dealings with male-pattern baldness. See? I'm- being- a- loving- friend-” And with each word, his grip gets tighter.

“Saches?! Rinko?! _Anyone?!_” Ryo looks around for any salvation. Zen, of course, is too busy being amused by his plight.

“Mamoru, it's true.” Sachika- the Second, now- says. “Sachika is the second-best with swords! And she thinks the sword is neat-”

“Understand that I love you, Sachika,” Mamoru says, his eyes wide, pupils dilated, “and I do this for your own good.”

“Don't you love Ryo too?” Sachika pleads. “Didn't you and the other Sachika talk about this already?”

Unfortunately for Mamoru, he is deathly weak to his now two little sisters using each other's words against him, so he, gritting his teeth, eye twitching, lets go of Ryo's hair, which now looks much shaggier, and likely a bit thinner. Ryo wheezes and pants as though he's just undergone fatal trauma. “Arrest him, Officer.” Ryo says, his eyes blank. “This man's a criminal.”

“We know that already, ya dope.” Minamo laughs awkwardly. In the distance, by the bedrooms, Zen sees Rinko- with Yuma by her side, now- working on a nice floral arrangement she's been steadily chipping away at, with her best 'I'm ignoring everything going on right now' smile on her face.

“It _does_ seem like an impressive blade, though.” Haruto says, pushing up his glasses a bit to inspect it. “Ryo, your craftsmanship has really improved! I'm impressed.”

“Wow, thanks, Haruto.” Ryo says, his eyes still blank, standing there like a zombie with his mouth open. Then he snaps to attention. “Hey- Haruto's a child right now and you don't mind him holding it!”

“Haruto,” Mamoru says, hand on his chin, “is an adult, and can take care of himself.”

“More like Haruto isn't your _cute little sister._” Ryo says. “You're so myopic, Doc!”

“Well, this thing prolly is a war crime in at least a few jurisdictions.” Minamo says, giving the sword an appraising glance herself. “Hey, Zen, ya wanna try wielding two?”

“Nope.” Zen says. “I'm satisfied.”

“At the very least, I'm sure it'll be a useful tool.” Mamoru says, scratching at his beard. “And I won't deny your aspersions on my character, Ryo, but I will say-”

“I've _got it!_” Sachika the First picks this exact moment to reassert herself. Ooh, good timing. “Two words, seven syllables- yours truly has an ergonomic name that could fit even a woman of Mashiro such as yourself, Yuma.” She puts her finger up to her forehead and makes a fingergun at said woman of Mashiro, who has just followed Rinko over, the two of them enjoying mutual glasses of floral tea.

“I am ready to be impressed.” Yuma says, completely flatly.

“The _Blazing Decapitator!_” Sachika strikes a pose. “See, the electricity causes burns, but also, doesn't 'Decapitator' just have a really nice ring to it? You can cut someone, sure, but that's boring- it's much more exciting to use a fun word like that! 'Blazing' is a much cooler word than 'Burning', and- well, if I were to throw someone out a window, it's much more fun to say I'm 'defenestrating' them!”

There's a few moments of silence as Sachika realizes the situation she's stepped into. Rinko is the first to step in- “Have... I missed something here?”

Most of all, though, Mamoru has an inscrutable look on his face. Sachika awkwardly sidles over to the kitchen table and picks up a glass of orange juice, sipping it with her pinky out before putting it down. “Big Brother,” she says, a loud smile on her face as though she's just been caught putting her hand in the cookie jar, “how nice to see you.”

Mamoru frowns, and then hunches over, putting his face in his hands. “I couldn't stop it,” he says, sounding a bit like he's crying. “I tried... but she really is his daughter...!” He sobs. Haruto goes over to awkwardly pat him on the back.

“It's true.” Yuma nods solemnly once more. “She used the word 'waifu' earlier.” Mamoru's wails only grow louder.


End file.
